tobillo:

WHAT DOESNT KILL YOU MAKES YOU log onto tumblr.com and blog about your experience to your dedicated followers that truly understand your problems

I finally have my diploma. In Video Art to be precise. The end of an era. Kind of. It feels like I have spent my whole life here. Just like my lecturer who has been teaching for five years who also said it feels like he’s been here his whole life. I didn’t feel that in secondary school, and I definitely didn’t feel that in primary school. 

I saw pamela yoong just now. Pamela yoong is just another whore who thought I couldn’t make it in life and would probably end up in a shit course in ITE. (pamela yoong was the vice principal in my secondary school) To all those who also thought I couldn’t make it in life, A HUGE ASS FUCK YOU IN THE FACE. Hmm. most of these people just happen to be women. A shout out to these old fucks : Rebecca Loke (sec 1 form teacher), Ong Hong Peng (secondary school principal), Chia Chu Mei, Both of my Principles of Accounts teachers who I forgot their names. Seriously fuck you all.

But to the ones who really supported me, there are too many of you guys. I’ll never forget you all. Because of your everlasting support and guidance, I have made it this far, and I will continue to go further. And also my parents who let me join Lasalle. 

And thanks to everyone who came down for my grad show! 

Im just so afraid to step into the working world. I always feel like I’m never good enough. Within these few weeks, I will gather the courage to send in my cv to one of these production houses. Apparently Ivan also has some sort of trouble with this. This, is called inferiority complex. I have it too. But Ivan’s work really is good I don’t know what he is afraid of. I too know my work is alright. But if I don’t have confidence in my work, that’s gonna reflect poorly on me.  Oh please god, let things fall into place like you’ve always done for me my whole life, and please let me make the right decisions. I don’t want to fail in my working life. I’m not asking for the best salary or the easiest lifestyle, but I just want to feel good and more importantly comfortable with what I’m doing. Please god, please.

I feel so shitty having to be alone on such a nice day. Everyone has their own things to do, while I rot at home. It’s a really horrid feeling. Being alone has never felt so alone.